Life By Design Therapy

  I’ve noticed that when I’m having trouble focusing, it’s rarely just about distractions. It’s often a sign that my nervous system is overstimulated, overwhelmed, or simply needs a moment of care. In my work (and in my own life), I’ve found that focus isn’t just a mental skill…it’s a whole-body experience . When we feel safe, regulated, and grounded, focus becomes much more accessible. If you’ve been struggling to stay present or productive lately, these 6 nervous-system-based tools can help bring you back into balance: Use your senses to support focus – Gentle sensory input like warm tea, textured objects, or calming music can help anchor you in the moment. Let your body give you feedback – Tune into sensations like tight shoulders or a racing heart. These cues tell you what your body needs like rest, movement, or just a pause. Use grounding practices to become present – Try orienting to your environment, deep breathing, or pressing your feet into the floor. These small practi...

  June is PTSD Awareness Month 💙 PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) isn’t just something that happens to veterans or people who’ve been through “big” traumas. It can stem from any experience that overwhelmed your ability to cope, car accidents, childhood trauma, medical events, abuse, loss… the list goes on. PTSD can look like flashbacks, anxiety, emotional numbness, feeling constantly on edge, or struggling to trust or feel safe, even long after the event is over. If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken. Your nervous system adapted to survive. And healing is possible. Support from a trauma-informed therapist can help you slowly feel safer in your body, in your relationships, and in your day-to-day life. You deserve that healing. You don’t have to carry it alone. 💛 https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/trauma-therapy

  When it’s hard to focus, it’s easy to blame things like too much screen time, not enough willpower, or falling behind on another productivity hack. But struggling to focus usually isn’t about a lack of discipline; it could be your body or mind trying to tell you something. Sometimes we push past those signals without even realizing it. We distract ourselves because sitting with what we’re really feeling can be uncomfortable. Distraction isn’t a bad habit; it can actually be a way our system protects us from feeling overwhelmed. You might notice your attention slipping when there’s something underneath the surface that hasn’t had space to be felt. And the more we ignore that, the harder it is to stay present. But when we pause and notice what’s really going on inside, it becomes easier to come back to the present moment. Regaining focus is possible, you just need to learn how to build awareness around your patterns. And that starts with paying attention to what’s happening within....

  6 Ways to Return to the Present When Your Mind Won’t Stay Put When it’s hard to focus, it’s easy to blame things like too much screen time, not enough willpower, or falling behind on another productivity hack.  But struggling to focus usually isn’t about a lack of discipline; it could be your body or mind trying to tell you something. Sometimes we push past those signals without even realizing it. Click the link in bio to read the full blog. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/6-ways-to-return-to-the-present-when-your-mind-wont-stay-put

  Today is Juneteenth, commemorating the emancipation of enslaved people in the United States. Though it has existed in some states (like Texas) since 1865, it was only declared a federal holiday in 2021. Life by Design Therapy recognizes the importance of this step -- but also that it is not enough to reconcile the structural racial inequalities that remain entrenched in American society. We want to bring awareness to this day, and acknowledge all the difficult steps it took to get here. Let’s continue to spread awareness around the strain racial inequalities have taken on Mental Health! https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  Here’s something no one talks about when you’re trying to fix your relationship. As a therapist , I see this all the time: Couples come in hoping for reconnection, but they skip this first, crucial step. Before you can rebuild closeness, you have to understand what pulled you apart. That means slowing down and getting curious, not just about your partner, but about yourself. When couples feel disconnected, it didn’t happen overnight. It was likely small things over time like missed moments, unspoken needs, and just life being heavy. Here are a few questions I encourage my clients to explore: 🌿 When did things start to feel different? (This helps you identify a timeline and when the disconnect started) 🌿 What changed in our lives, our routines, or how we interact? (This helps you reflect on what started the change) 🌿 What needs of mine have gone unmet, and how have I been coping with that? (This helps you understand where your emotional energy is going and whether you’re g...

  I’ve sat with many couples who say some version of: “We love each other… but we’re just not hearing each other anymore.” The disconnect is palpable. You’re both trying to be heard, but somehow, you keep missing each other. It might even feel like you’re speaking two different languages. No matter how clearly you try to explain yourself, you leave conversations feeling misunderstood, misrepresented, and maybe even uncared for. Sometimes, what starts as a simple conversation can take a turn before you even realize it. Maybe they get defensive and throw it back your way: “Well, you did the same thing last week.” Or they brush it off with a quick apology that feels more like, “Can we just move on?” than real understanding. Other times, the whole thing shifts and suddenly, you’re talking about how you hurt them , and the reason you brought it up in the first place fades into the background. You walk away wondering: What just happened? Did they even hear me? Did they actually underst...

  As a couples therapist , I can tell you this: closeness doesn’t just happen, it’s built, slowly and intentionally. In the hustle of everyday life, it's easy to let connection slide to the bottom of the to-do list. But connection isn’t something we can put on autopilot. It thrives on small, consistent gestures that say, “I see you and I choose us.” If you’re feeling distant from your partner or just want to strengthen your bond, here are 5 simple but powerful ways to bring more intentional connection into your relationship: Leave a note – A sticky note on the mirror, a message in their bag, or even a text during the day can make your partner feel seen and loved. Make eye contact when your partner is speaking – This one is underrated but deeply impactful. Eye contact signals, “I’m here with you.” It supports validation and emotional safety. Sit together without screens – We often share space but not presence. Take 10–15 minutes to just sit near each other—no phones, no TV, just...

  It doesn’t always look like fighting. Sometimes, it’s shutting down mid-conversation because you feel like you’re talking in circles. It’s avoiding the hard stuff; not because you don’t care, but because it feels safer to say nothing at all. It’s feeling physically drained after a conversation that was supposed to bring you closer. And it’s walking away wondering, “Why do I feel more alone now than before we talked?” These are signs of emotional disconnection. And as a couples therapist, I can tell you, this is more common than you think. You’re not broken. You’re not failing. But you are likely missing something essential: emotional safety. That’s what makes it possible to speak honestly, listen openly, and repair when things go off track. If that kind of safety has been missing, therapy can help you rebuild. At Life By Design Therapy ™, we help couples and individuals rebuild that emotional foundation, so that communication doesn’t just sound better, it feels better too. Head...

  As a couples therapist , I’ve seen how easy it is for couples to slip into autopilot when they’re disconnected. You’re going through the motions; talking about schedules, tasks, and to-do lists, but not really connecting . The conversations stay surface-level. The laughter quiets down. The small touches, the cuddles, the playful moments fade. It starts to feel like you’re living side by side, but not really together . Just two individuals under one roof, just trying to get through the day. But here’s what I’ve learned, reconnecting only requires you to be intentional. A small effort that says, “I still care.” That’s where healing begins. Not in the grand gestures, but in the tiny moments of trying. Start where you are. It’s more than enough. 🧡 Save this if you’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to reconnect. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/holistic-somatic-therapists

  As a couples therapist, I can tell you this: closeness doesn’t just happen, it’s built, slowly and intentionally. In the hustle of everyday life, it's easy to let connection slide to the bottom of the to-do list. But connection isn’t something we can put on autopilot. It thrives on small, consistent gestures that say, “I see you and I choose us.” If you’re feeling distant from your partner or just want to strengthen your bond, here are 5 simple but powerful ways to bring more intentional connection into your relationship: Leave a note – A sticky note on the mirror, a message in their bag, or even a text during the day can make your partner feel seen and loved. Make eye contact when your partner is speaking – This one is underrated but deeply impactful. Eye contact signals, “I’m here with you.” It supports validation and emotional safety. Sit together without screens – We often share space but not presence. Take 10–15 minutes to just sit near each other—no phones, no TV, just...

  Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try, your partner just doesn’t get you? Maybe you’ve explained yourself over and over again, hoping that this time they’ll finally understand. But instead, you’re met with blank stares, defensiveness, or silence. You start to wonder: Am I asking for too much? Am I just hard to love? Feeling misunderstood in a relationship can be one of the most painful, lonely experiences, and it’s also one of the most common. As a couples therapist, I see this dynamic all the time. Not because couples don’t love or care for one another, but because miscommunication, especially when fueled by underlying fears or attachment wounds, creates a wall between people who are desperately trying to connect. Understanding your own patterns, your triggers, and your needs is the first step. Learning how to communicate in a way that invites connection, not conflict, is the next. You deserve to feel heard. You deserve to feel safe. You deserve to feel like you...

  Feeling misunderstood in your relationship can be one of the loneliest experiences. You’re trying. You’re communicating the best way you know how. But somehow, it still feels like they don’t get you. Like you're speaking different languages. If that’s you, I want you to know: ✨ You’re not too much. ✨ Your needs aren’t wrong. ✨ You’re not asking for something unreasonable. Often, when we feel misunderstood, what we’re really longing for is emotional safety. To feel seen, known, and responded to with care. When we’re not feeling safe or heard, we can start protecting ourselves instead of connecting. Maybe you shut down, get defensive, or over-explain. Not because you don’t care, but because you don’t feel seen. If this sounds familiar, your relationship isn’t doomed. But it might be time to slow down and get curious: Am I expressing what I need, or just what I’m upset about? Do we both know how to listen without fixing or defending? Are we speaking from our pain, or from our lon...

  It’s so easy for couples to fall into the routine of living side by side without truly connecting . You’re sharing a space, but not much else. And before you know it, you’re more like roommates than lovers. The intimacy fades, the emotional connection feels distant, and you’re left wondering, “What happened to us?” As a couples therapist , this is something I see often. It’s a painful realization, but it’s also one that many couples experience. But what if you could go back? What if there were a way to rebuild the spark and shift from coexisting to reconnecting again? Guess what? There is! The process takes time, but it’s worth it. Remember, you didn’t become roommates overnight, and you won’t become lovers again in one day, but with patience and intention, you can get there. If you’re feeling stuck, don’t hesitate to seek professional support. Therapy can help you both navigate the challenges and build a stronger, more connected relationship. I know a few awesome therapists who...