Life By Design Therapy

  Meet Tiana Brawley ACSW, our featured therapist for the month of May 2021! Tiana Brawley is an Associate Clinical Social Worker. She works holistically blending Mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Theory, Narrative Therapy, and Attachment. Her specialties include working with BIPOC, LGBTQ+ and nonbinary individuals and communities. Tiana works with Adults, Couples and Families in our Berkeley Office (currently telehealth). She has limited daytime and evening openings on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Sundays. Schedule your free phone consultation with Tiana to learn more about how she can support you! https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/tiana-brawley-asw

  Those of us who have lost a loved one are familiar with the experience of survivor guilt, or the feeling that "it should have been us" who passed away in their stead. With the COVID-19 pandemic taking so many lives, many people recovering from the coronavirus are having a similar experience with survivor guilt, feeling bad that they survived the illness while others did not -- especially if they personally lost loved ones during the pandemic. Individuals experiencing survivor guilt should seek counseling from a mental health professional to help them navigate the process of grief and loss. Contact Life by Design Therapy today to learn more about how we can help you recover from survivor guilt. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  How can we help ourselves get through a challenging, anxious moment ? Repeating positive affirmations is one way to flip the script on negative thoughts and begin to work past the anxiety. Some affirmations you can repeat to yourself when you are feeling anxious include: 💙 "Anxiety isn't dangerous. It's just uncomfortable." WHY IT WORKS: The bodily sensations we experience during anxiety can scare us, but it's important to acknowledge that they will not harm us -- they are just frightening and uncomfortable. 💙 "I've felt this before; I'll get through it again." WHY IT WORKS: You have survived every other anxious moment you've experienced in your life. Reminding yourself of that strength can help you get through this moment more easily. 💙 "I don't have evidence to support these thoughts." WHY IT WORKS: Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a proven strategy for anxiety that states that our thoughts have a powerful effect on the wa

  May is #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth. While not everyone struggles with a mental illness, we all have mental health -- and it's important for everyone to take care of their minds! Stress and other mental health challenges are a normal part of life for all of us. Self-care and other preventative strategies can help you maintain good mental health despite these challenges. But at what point should you worry about "normal" challenges becoming mental health disorders? If you are experiencing changes in your mood, severe anxiety that is difficult to manage, distressing thoughts or hallucinations, substance abuse, or social withdrawal, it may be time to schedule a mental health check-in with a therapist. Contact Life by Design Therapy to learn how we can help you stay on top of your mental health -- and handle any challenges that come your way! https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  Brene Brown is a well-known psychologist who has become famous for studying shame. As this quote attests, Brown's research has found that shame hinders our healing process and makes it more difficult to get through times of struggle. Shame can come from external sources, such as family or media messaging, but also from within. We cannot control what others do, but we can look within ourselves to find and stem the sources of this shame. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  May is #MentalHealthAwarenessMonth, making it the perfect time to start therapy! If you have been thinking about beginning therapy for a while now, whether due to a specific mental health challenge or because you want to get on top of your mental health before it gets bad, Life by Design Therapy has openings for virtual therapy sessions via phone or video chat. Contact us today to learn more about what our holistic therapists have to offer! https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/holistic-therapy

  Hello, My name is Tiana Brawley and I am an Associate Clinical Social Worker. I work holistically blending Mindfulness, Cognitive Behavioral Theory, Narrative Therapy, and Attachment work in therapy. I specialize in working with BIPOC individuals, LGBTQ+ and nonbinary individuals and communities.  HOW I WORK  By utilizing mindfulness techniques , we will work together to develop strategies and coping skills that will create more calm, invite more present thoughts and feelings, alleviate and quiet intruding thoughts and feelings which disrupt your wellbeing and moving forward. Negative thoughts can trap you in a vicious cycle. I utilize CBT to help you disrupt, shift and challenge these negative thoughts and feelings . CBT will assist you in developing healthy problem-solving skills, and to effectively cope with conflict and uncomfortable situations.  Narrative therapy focuses on helping you find your voice, identify your values, and can support you in owning your unique story.  I

  IN PURSUIT OF CLARITY ABOUT BOUNDARIES AND POWER by Ashley Gregory, LMFT “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” --Prentis Hemphill BOUNDARY BEGINNINGS For me, the term “boundaries” did not become a part of my regular vocabulary until graduate school. This may be partially explained by the fact that I cannot recall having explicit conversations about the meaning of personal boundaries as a child. What I do remember are the places I was told I was not allowed to go, like beyond the borders of the complex where my cousins and I lived. On at least one occasion, as children do, I tested those limitations. The consequence for which left a red handprint on my backside.   Boundaries maintain one’s sense of safety and autonomy. As such, experiences of abuse and trauma are boundary violations which often dramatically shifts one’s perception of their external and internal boundary systems.  THE TWO PARTS OF EXTERNAL BOUNDARIES As children we learn about b

  DATING A NARCISSIST? HERE'S HOW YOU CAN TELL by Melody Wright, LMFT First, we want to acknowledge how challenging it is to be in a relationship with someone who is a narcissist or who has narcissistic behaviors. While this blog is not meant to minimize the impact of unhealthy behaviors on your relationship, we also want to be aware of mislabeling and pathologizing someone’s behaviors.  This blog is meant to provide reflection and tools to identify narcissistic behaviors of relating to others, as well as things to consider if you think you are dating a narcissist. Relationships are hard -- but relationships with a narcissist can feel borderline impossible. If your partner struggles with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), they may have an inflated sense of self-importance and a need for attention that becomes overwhelming in your relationship. Someone who has been diagnosed with NPD may have little regard for other people's feelings, making them challenging partners to be

  Many of the behaviors trauma survivors struggle with originated as survival strategies to help them get through the traumatic environment. If you find yourself over-reacting to small things (hypervigilance) or becoming emotionally distant to protect yourself, you probably started doing this as a way to survive the trauma. After the trauma is over, we often continue using these behaviors out of habit even though they no longer serve us. Forgiving yourself for the survival strategies you learned while living through trauma is the first and most important step toward changing these behaviors. Reach out to Life by Design Therapy to begin showing yourself compassion and addressing these adaptive behaviors. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/trauma-therapy

  Perfectionism is a common manifestation of anxiety, where you might stress over getting small details exactly right -- or even procrastinate because you're worried your work won't be perfect when you begin. Many of us have an inner critic who overwhelms us with perfectionistic comments, like "if it's not perfect, what's the point?" The problem with these perfectionistic standards is that they are often unrealistic and impossible to meet. In other words, we are doomed to failure before we even begin. Therapy can help you establish more realistic standards for yourself, while also learning to accept B-grade work as "good enough." Contact Life by Design Therapy today to learn how our holistic therapists can help you overcome perfectionism. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/holistic-somatic-therapists

  Life by Design Therapy is passionate about supporting the AAPI community here at home. However, amid the devastating coronavirus crisis happening in India, we feel it is important now to address ways to help our AAPI brothers & sisters across the ocean. In case you have not seen the news, hospitals in India are overflowing with COVID-19 patients; some have even run out of basic medical supplies, like oxygen. These are four organizations that are currently accepting donations to help support India with much-needed medical resources. Please consider donating if you are able! https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  May 9-15 is National Women's Health Week! Did You Know that.... 💙 ....women are 2x as likely as men to be diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder? 💙 ....women are 2x as likely as men to be diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder? 💙 ....women are 10x as likely as men to be diagnosed with an eating disorder? 💙 ....women are more likely than men to develop PTSD, and wait an average of 4 years longer to seek treatment for it? Many mental health problems and conditions are more common in women, making it especially important to draw attention to mental health during this occasion. (Source: Regis College) https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  DBT PART 2: THE FOUR SKILLS As mentioned in part one, Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is a widely applicable practice combining a variety of concepts and skills. Marsha Linehan created DBT in the late 1970’s, inspired by her own personal experience to dedicate her life to supporting people in severe distress. Marsha wove together concepts and interventions from Zen Buddhism, behavioral and humanistic approaches to arrive at four essential DBT skills: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation and interpersonal effectiveness. Radical acceptance is an essential belief in DBT, grounding the skills practice in embracing one’s present moment experience.  WHAT DOES RADICAL ACCEPTANCE MEAN? Each of the DBT skills is designed to offer relief during different points throughout an experience of emotional pain. From moment to moment, emotional pain shifts and changes. DBT stresses the importance of understanding choice and control. A key concept and practice of DBT is radical acce

  May is Asian American & Pacific Islander Heritage Month. It is also Mental Health Awareness Month. Particularly with the recent string of violence against AAPI individuals, these two areas deeply intersect. According to the American Psychological Association, AAPI individuals have a 17% lifetime rate of mental illness, yet are 3x less likely to seek mental health services than white Americans. AAPI people face specific cultural barriers when it comes to mental health, including racism, the "Model Minority" myth, pressure to succeed, and a collectivist culture that discourages seeking help. Because of this, it's important for AAPI individuals to seek mental healthcare professionals who are sensitive to these cultural differences. Life by Design Therapy prides itself on providing culturally competent, holistic therapy to diverse communities, including Asian Americans & Pacific Islanders. To learn more about our commitment to cultural competence, visit our website

  Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder , or ADHD, is often associated with children, but can also be diagnosed in adults. Some adults may develop symptoms of ADHD later in life, while others (especially females) may have gone undiagnosed until adulthood. The symptoms of ADHD can look different in adults than in children, which sometimes makes it more difficult for adults to get a diagnosis. Symptoms of ADHD in adults include: 💙 Becoming easily distracted by low-priority activities 💙 Having many simultaneous thoughts 💙 Difficulty paying attention when listening or reading 💙 Frequently daydreaming or "zoning out" 💙 Struggling to complete simple tasks 💙 Overlooking details, leading to errors or incompletion 💙 Inability to remember conversations or directions 💙 Getting bored easily and seeking out stimulation 💙 Poor organizational skills, including lateness and procrastination 💙 Frequently interrupting others or blurting out at inappropriate times If this sounds lik

  Codependency, or " relationship addiction ," occurs when an individual maintains harmful, abusive, or one-sided relationships due to low self-esteem. For a codependent person, a relationship provides validation, and loving others gives them a sense of purpose. People who are codependent may fall in love with individuals they feel the need to "save" or "rescue." Even when it is harmful to them, they will go to great lengths to save an unhappy relationship to avoid the feeling of being abandoned. Codependency often dates back to childhood patterns of attachment. Working with a therapist can help you pinpoint these patterns and how they may be affecting you in the present day. Contact Life by Design Therapy to learn more about how our holistic approach to therapy can help you address codependency. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/marriage-counseling

  Meditation and other psychological exercises are not the only way to ground yourself. You can also use physical objects to assist you in your grounding journey. Some of the objects we recommend to our clients for grounding include: 💙 Fidget cubes. These objects can give you a way to channel restless or anxious energy by playing with different parts of the cube. 💙 Yoga sand bags. These bags, when laid across your back, provide soothing pressure and weight that can give you a sensation to focus on while grounding. 💙 Weighted blankets. Like sand bags, these blankets include weights that provide soothing pressure and give you a different sensation to focus on, besides that which is making you anxious or uncomfortable. For more resources to help you ground yourself, check out Life by Design Therapy's free e-book , The Mind-Body Toolkit, as well as the free resources page on our website! https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  Are you ready to start healing your mind and body? Find out by taking the self-assessment in our brand-new, FREE e-book , The Mind-Body Toolkit. In addition to the self-assessment, you'll get tools to help you connect with your mind and body, including a list of 50 grounding exercises and links to products and resources to improve your mental health. Check out our website in the comments below to download your copy today! https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  THE FOUNDATIONS OF DBT Throughout my experience as a clinician, I have come across DBT on numerous occasions. In my work with adolescents, I have been fortunate enough to partner with community mental health organizations implementing DBT groups for young people struggling with serious depression, persistent trauma and crippling anxiety. This piece is meant to be a very brief introduction to DBT; a glimpse into its early beginnings and to the concepts underpinning its practice. WHERE DID DBT COME FROM?   DBT stands for Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. Marsha Linehan developed DBT in the late 1970’s throughout her work with people who were highly suicidal. She literally went to hospitals and asked them to refer the people who were most acutely suicidal to her. Marsha is credited for creating a treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder, which is what DBT is most known for, however Marsha asserts that her initial aim was to address suicidal and self-harming behaviors. Now, DBT is wid