Life By Design Therapy

  New Year's Eve is a time for celebration -- and for many of us, alcohol is a part of that. This year, we encourage you to embrace mindful drinking to support your mental health and avoid overdoing it during the New Year's countdown. Follow these four tips to approach your relationship with alcohol more mindfully and stick to your limits this New Year's Eve: 🥂 Ask yourself WHY you're drinking. Are you using alcohol as a coping mechanism, to loosen yourself up in social situations, or to forget painful memories? Or, are you using it for cultural reasons, because others are drinking, because you just like the taste? This simple question can be very enlightening on your drinking habits! 🥂 Savor the taste of your drink. Not only does savoring your drink invite you to drink more slowly, but it also offers you the opportunity to slow down and embrace being in the present moment. 🥂 Set flexible limits. When you create a hard rule for yourself (i.e. "no more than two

  Getting grounded -- whether it's during a panic attack , a flashback, or any uncomfortable moment -- can be a challenge, but it's a valuable way to get back in touch with your body and your surroundings in the present moment. These days, grounding yourself is easier than ever with the products available on Amazon and other stores, online and off. Some products you may want to grab if you are struggling to stay grounded include: 💫 Fidget cubes. These toys are designed for those who get fidgety or jittery when anxious or distressed to use their energy in a productive way. 💫 Weighted blankets. The weight from these blankets is designed to feel like a hug, releasing feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and bringing you back to the present moment. 💫 Sand bags. These yoga props can be placed on the lower back to provide a soothing and calming sensation when laying down or meditating. Is there another product you use to ground yourself that isn't on this list? Let us know in the

  As New Year's approaches, many of us are thinking about the goals we will set for 2021. When you're setting your personal growth goals, try to keep the following tips in mind: ⭐️ Use clear details. Rather than saying "I want to save money," specify how much money you want to save, and how often. ⭐️ Set a deadline. When do you want to achieve your goal by? If you're stuck on this, set New Year's of 2022 as your deadline! ⭐️ Check in throughout the year. So many of us set goals for the New Year, only to forget about them by March. Try to set regular intervals to check in on your progress. ⭐️ Celebrate your successes. Society tells us we should move on to the next thing as soon as we're done, but it's important to acknowledge how far you've come. When you've achieved your goal, or a milestone along the way, take a moment to pause and reward yourself with something like a sweet treat or a day off. Using these guidelines, what goal will you set fo

  Do you.... Talk yourself out of things you want to do? Worry too much about things you cannot control? Overwork and stress yourself out about doing a perfect job? Care too much about what others think? In our society, these traits -- like overworking and perfectionism -- have become so acceptable that they're almost considered the norm. In reality, these traits can be a manifestation of deep-seated anxiety, which has the power to control your life.... if you let it. In an intimate relationship, most people wouldn’t stand for a controlling, demanding significant other. Why is our relationship with anxiety any more accepting of these character traits? Anxiety can control your life, what you think and do, but you con't have to settle for living with it. You can take back your power. If you're ready to begin working through your anxiety and moving forward from society's expectations, schedule a free phone consultation with Life by Design Therapy today. https://www.lifeby

  Change. Simply saying the word can sometimes make you feel anxious and nervous. You like your routines and the thought of making radical, drastic changes to your life sounds so uncomfortable that instead you retreat to what is familiar. But what is familiar in your life? Is it anxiety and fear? Do you feel stressed and worried all of the time? Do you feel uncertain and troubled about your future? Are you dealing with unresolved grief or lingering sadness? While these feelings are common, you do not have to accept them as your only reality. Your life is intended for so much more! Though pain and troubling feelings are a part of the human existence, they do not need to define you. Free yourself from the hurdles that have blocked you in the past. Contact Life by Design Therapy to learn more about how we can help. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  CORONAVIRUS HOLIDAY TIPS FOR CELEBRATING SAFELY by Melody Wright, LMFT Life by Design Therapy wishes all of our clients a happy Thanksgiving and a very merry holiday season! As we approach a long string of winter holidays, COVID-19 is on everyone's minds. The holidays offer an important opportunity to reconnect with family and friends, which we could all use right now given the stress of current events -- but many of us are wondering if it is feasible or even safe to plan a holiday celebration during a global pandemic. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/coronavirus-holiday-tips/11/2020

  A common question people have when they come to therapy is, "How can I tell if I'm depressed or just sad?" Many people do not understand the difference between sadness and depression, leading them to use "sadness strategies" to comfort someone with depression -- for example, telling them to "cheer up!" or reminding them of everything good in their life. Sadness is an important emotion. Without sadness, we would never be able to feel joy. But unlike depression, sadness is temporary and, many times, circumstantial. When the event causing our sadness eventually passes, our sad feelings fade, and our mood lifts. Alternatively, depression can feel like there is no end in sight. By definition, it must last for a period of at least two weeks. When we are sad, we can often keep our sadness in perspective, reminding ourselves that it will pass -- but depression can cause an attitude of hopelessness, leading many to believe that they will never be able to expe

  Staying at home with our partners -- and, in some cases, becoming coworkers with them -- has placed a strain on many of our relationships. Here are four tips to help you maintain a healthy relationship and reignite the spark despite COVID-19: ⭐️ Plan a weekly date night. Not being able to leave the house doesn't mean you can't treat your partner to a date night. Spend an evening playing board games, watching a movie (your partner chooses the film, you pop the popcorn), or cooking something new together to inspire laughter and joy together. ⭐️ Perform small acts of kindness. It's the little things -- like leaving love notes for each other on the fridge, filling your partner's car with gas, or bringing them medication when they have a headache -- that make a relationship work. Don't forget these small acts of kindness when you're cooped up at home. ⭐️ Don't forget physical touch. You don't need to socially distance from people in your household, so don&#

  If your relationship is plagued by issues such as... ⭐️Finding it increasingly hard to open up and be honest with each other ⭐️Pushing each other away when you need personal affection or emotional support ⭐️Growing in your contempt for one another ⭐️Operating at different intimacy levels or with divergent sex drives ⭐️Having more and more disagreements or full-blown arguments ....then it might be time to consider couples' counseling. Contact Life by Design Therapy today to learn how our trained therapists can help repair your relationship. We currently offer virtual couples' counseling options to help you stay safe from COVID-19, while rebuilding intimacy with your partner. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/marriage-counseling

  COVID-19 is forcing many of us to reexamine our relationships. Our social circles have narrowed, and we may find ourselves spending time with people who control us or make us feel bad about ourselves. Some warning signs to look out for when it comes to toxic relationships include: ✨ Intensity In a healthy relationship, trust builds gradually over time and is earned. If you find yourself sharing too much too soon, view it as a warning sign to take a step back and slow down. ✨ Manipulation Lots of people believe they can spot when they are being manipulated, but manipulation can be more subtle than you might think. People might convince you to share their opinions or do things you don't want to do through clandestine means. ✨ Volatility It's one thing to occasionally snap at people we care about, but another completely to consistently give disproportionately strong reactions to small problems or disagreements in a relationship. Volatility is an important warning sign to pay att

  The therapeutic relationship, or the relationship you have with your therapist as a client, is an instrumental part in healing. When talking about deeply personal issues, there needs to be trust and comfort between a therapist and their client. Finding the right therapist is key to overcoming whatever problems ail you. But how do you choose the right therapist for you? Try asking yourself the following questions: ⭐️ Do I care about the gender or age of my therapist? If so, what am I looking for in my therapist? ⭐️ What credentials do I need in a therapist? Do I need to see a psychologist with a Ph.D. or am I comfortable seeing a licensed professional? ⭐️ Am I looking for a specialized therapist? If so, what do they need to specialize in so they can help me best? ⭐️ Does this person have experience working with people who have racial and cultural backgrounds like mine? How important is this to me? If you still don't know what you're looking for in your ideal therapist, that

  If you decide to start couples therapy ' with Life by Design Therapy, we practice the mindfulness-based approach by being in the moment during our sessions. One way we do this is by using guiding questions like these to help couples reflect mindfully on their relationship. The four questions that we encourage you to use to reflect on your relationship are: 1️⃣ How satisfied are you in your current relationship? 2️⃣ How do you and your partner communicate hurts and disappointments? 3️⃣ How comfortable are you with being vulnerable? 4️⃣ Are there any areas of your relationship that you would like to improve? You can also do this as an at-home exercise with a partner to help you connect on a deeper level about the state of your relationship, or use it as a journaling exercise to help you reflect on your personal feelings about your relationship, without fear of offending your partner with your honest responses. These questions are a great way to invite deeper reflection on your need

  Did your mental health impact how much you spent, and on what, this Black Friday or Cyber Monday? 🧠 You may not realize it, but money is intricately tied to our mental health -- especially when it comes to how well we manage it. For example, we might significantly overspend during a period of abnormally elevated mood (hypomania or mania), or make impulsive purchases when we are down in an attempt to help us feel better. For many people, finances are also tied to feelings of dread and anxiety. As you review your Black Friday & Cyber Monday spending this year, keep these tips in mind to alleviate financial worries and get your spending back on track: ⭐️ Forgive yourself for getting swept up in the hype. Sales are designed to psychologically trick us into thinking we'll miss out on a great deal or feel happier when we make a purchase. ⭐️ Think back on your Black Friday and/or Cyber Monday spending and how you were feeling. Or, keep a diary of your spending and your mood for the

  The holidays are a time ripe for family gatherings. While those gatherings may look different this year, getting together with family members can present challenges no matter what. As much as we appreciate getting to spend time with our loved ones, the holidays often mean spending time with difficult relatives. This year especially, it could mean spending time with people who don't take the COVID-19 pandemic seriously. Preparing in advance for the challenges and disappointments you may face during the holidays can help you better cope with this hectic time of year. Visit our blog for some advice to keep in mind as you navigate the 2020 holiday season with your family -- link in comments below ❣️ https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/how-to-cope-holiday-family-gatherings

  Naturally, many of us are spending more time online these days. Some forms of screen time, like endless hours of scrolling on social media, can be detrimental to our well-being. But one of the beauties of modern technology is that we have also developed so many tools to improve our overall health and happiness. Apps can help you maintain an organized record of your mood, your thoughts, and your habits to ensure you're taking care of your mind and body during quarantine. However, not all mental health apps are created equal. These apps have been reviewed and recommended by reputable organizations like the Anxiety and Depression Association of America and UC San Francisco: 💙 Stop, Breathe, & Think (iOS and Android, free) Track your mood and access tailored meditations selected especially for how you're feeling today. 💙 Sanvello (iOS and Android, free premium subscription during COVID-19) Access clinically validated techniques for reducing stress, anxiety, and depression.

  December 10 is #HumanRightsDay. Here are some reasons why, according to the American Psychological Association, mental health should be considered a fundamental human right: ✨ Mental health conditions will affect 1 in 4 people worldwide during their lifetime. ✨ People with mental health conditions have a significantly lower life expectancy, with an estimated loss of 20 years for men and 15 years for women worldwide. ✨ In many underdeveloped countries, patients with mental illness are confined to psychiatric institutions and suffer significant human rights violations. ✨ The United Nations considers the right to health a fundamental and inclusive human right that encompasses mental and physical health. Initiatives currently being led to address the right to mental health include UN efforts to improve access to and the quality of mental health services and treatment delivery, creating legal and policy frameworks to protect individuals with mental health conditions, and integrating preve

  Nearly everyone will experience some type of trauma in their lifetime. There is no one right way to resolve trauma , but healing is possible for all of us. You may experience a multitude of emotions, ranging from shame to distrust to disbelief, as you work through trauma. No two people are alike, and each of us will go through our own journey as we heal from trauma. However, for many people, art and creativity can be powerful tools for resolving trauma. For example, a 2013 study found significant improvements in war veterans with PTSD who participated in art therapy. Art and creativity can help you express your emotions in a tangible way, while also accessing a place of rest and relaxation where you can escape from the memory of your trauma. Art can be incredibly cathartic and therapeutic as you navigate the healing journey. Some activities you may want to try to express your creativity while healing from trauma include: ⭐️ Journaling ⭐️ Creative writing ⭐️ Drawing or painting ⭐️ Red

  COVID-19 has been a challenging time for many of us, but here at Life by Design Therapy, we prefer to look at it as a blessing in disguise. Why, you ask? Because when else are you going to have the opportunity to slow down this much again? A global pandemic that asks you to stay at home, focus on self-care, and get comfortable with spending time alone offers the perfect time for you to explore your innermost conflicts, needs, and desires. Virtual therapy with Life by Design Therapy can help you prioritize your mental health, while staying safe from the privacy of your home. Visit our website to learn more about our FREE phone consultations today 💙 https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/online-therapy

  With COVID-19 levels rising, many of us here in the United States are reckoning with the possibility of a second quarantine. Naturally, we are all preparing by looking for ways to alleviate our boredom, our stress, and our loneliness during the next lockdown. As you confront the uncertainty of quarantine, Life by Design Therapy is here to remind you that not all coping strategies are created equal. For example, during the first lockdown, alcohol sales rose dramatically, indicating that many people were reaching for the bottle to help numb their COVID anxiety. A better way to cope is by looking for something active and constructive to do to take your mind off your worries. Quarantine might be the perfect time to take up a hobby you have always been wanting to try -- or, perhaps, to start a journal. Journaling is a healthy habit for our mental health, as it promotes self-reflection and gratitude. The benefits of journaling include: ⭐️ Getting worries out of your head and onto the page

  "Gaslighting" has become a bit of a buzzword lately -- there's even a song called "Gaslighter" by the (formerly Dixie) Chicks. Now that the word is in our vocabulary, many people are using it casually, without fully understanding its meaning. But gaslighting is not a term to be thrown around lightly: for survivors of abuse, the experience of gaslighting is often interconnected with painful memories of trauma. That is not to say that you should not call out gaslighting if it has been your experience. But accusing someone of gaslighting you when you don't like what they have to say is equally toxic behavior. Hence, it's important to understand what this word really means before you begin to use it. Here is the true definition of gaslighting, and when this word is appropriate to use to describe someone's words or actions: ⚠️ Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to make you doubt your reality ⚠️ It may be a sign of narcissistic abuse, though not e

  Tired of being told that to stay social, you should schedule a group hangout on Zoom? We hear you. As important as it is to avoid isolation for your mental health , it's understandable that after months of living in a pandemic, you're starting to tire of your usual routine. To shake things up, try one of these fun ways to stay in touch with loved ones, without resorting to Zoom or FaceTime: 💙 Join a digital book club. If you love to read, there are many book clubs run through Instagram, YouTube, or online forums that can help you connect with other bibliophiles. 💙 Watch a movie on Teleparty. Teleparty is a browser extension for Google Chrome that lets you invite friends to a synchronized long-distance movie night over Netflix. 💙 Send some snail mail. Now is the perfect time to reconnect with relatives or friends who live far away -- but instead of sending a boring old text message, why not try writing a letter or hand-making a card? 💙 Go for a socially-distanced hike. As

  As excited as you probably are to see your family around the holidays (whether you'll be celebrating in-person or online), you might be nervous about how spending time with your family will affect you mentally and emotionally. Seeing family members you haven't seen in awhile sometimes means enduring awkward questions like "How's your love life?" or "When are you going to have kids?" Other times, you might feel pressured to pack your calendar with family engagements, even when you'd rather say no. Setting firm but fair boundaries with family can help you alleviate your anxieties and enjoy the holidays without dread. Here's how: ⭐️ Be specific about the boundaries you want to set. For example, there may be a certain party you don't want to attend or a certain topic of conversation you'd rather avoid. ⭐️ Have the conversation when everyone involved is calm. Delving into boundaries while angry is a surefire recipe for conflict -- and won