Therapy for Mental Health
"Gaslighting" has become a bit of a buzzword lately -- there's even a song called "Gaslighter" by the (formerly Dixie) Chicks.
Now that the word is in our vocabulary, many people are using it casually, without fully understanding its meaning. But gaslighting is not a term to be thrown around lightly: for survivors of abuse, the experience of gaslighting is often interconnected with painful memories of trauma.
That is not to say that you should not call out gaslighting if it has been your experience. But accusing someone of gaslighting you when you don't like what they have to say is equally toxic behavior. Hence, it's important to understand what this word really means before you begin to use it.
Here is the true definition of gaslighting, and when this word is appropriate to use to describe someone's words or actions:
⚠️ Gaslighting is a manipulation tactic used to make you doubt your reality
⚠️ It may be a sign of narcissistic abuse, though not everyone who gaslights has a narcissistic personality
⚠️ It can also be learned behavior from our upbringing, especially if we grew up with a narcissistic parent
⚠️ A gaslighter will often lie -- but when you accuse them of lying, they turn it around and say that YOU are the one being untruthful
⚠️ They may tell you you are "crazy" or "imagining things" to make you doubt your experience
⚠️ Or, they might deny doing or saying things, even if you clearly witnessed them doing it
Gaslighting can take a powerful psychological toll by leading us to doubt our every move, carry constant guilt, and make excuses for our abusers. It's deeply serious behavior and a sign of potential abuse, which is why you should not use the word lightly.
If you are being gaslighted, Life by Design Therapy can help -- visit our website to schedule a free consultation today. If this does not describe your experience, however, don't use the word just because it has become popular.
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