Life By Design Therapy

  Trick or treat: spooky season is upon us! This Halloween, remember that the best costumes are ones that don't perpetuate harmful stereotypes about mental illness . Costumes like... 🎃 Straightjackets 🎃 "Psycho" masks 🎃 Insane asylum patients ...make light of the very real struggles faced by people with mental illness, and preserve the misconception that mental illness is something to be feared. Remember: someone's disease is not a Halloween costume. By dressing up in one of these costumes, you might inadvertently be hurting someone you care about. If you can't think of something scarier than someone with a mental health condition, then you're not being creative enough! https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/krystal-williams-lmft-lpcc

  It's important to manage expectations going into therapy. Some patients expect that they will experience a full recovery with zero symptoms. This expectation is unrealistic because we all experience uncomfortable feelings from time to time -- even those of us without mental health issues. Others cannot imagine a world where their symptoms are no longer debilitating. For these people, therapy might feel like a wasted effort. As a result, they may not give therapy their all and won't feel its positive effects. The definition of success in therapy is not a complete lack of symptoms. As Whitney Goodman says, it's knowing what to do when symptoms arise -- and, most importantly, showing yourself compassion when they do. Being hard on yourself when you have symptoms of anxiety or depression will not help you overcome them; in fact, it may make symptoms worse. That's why an important part of our holistic therapy process is teaching you how to engage in positive self-talk to e

  October is #BreastCancerAwarenessMonth. It's important to be aware of how this disease affects physical health, but also of how it affects mental health. Receiving a breast cancer diagnosis can shake your world, leading to shock, depression, and anxiety. As cancer treatment progresses, you may find your mood, friendships, and relationships impacted by the experience. Symptoms of depression also impact survival rates: mortality rates are up to 26x higher in cancer patients with depressive symptoms, according to the American Psychological Association. Breast cancer survivors can continue to experience the psychological effects of the disease long after remission. Anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are common among breast cancer survivors, according to the Young Survival Coalition. It's important to take care of yourself and your loved ones if you or someone you care about is facing a breast cancer diagnosis. Holistic therapy can help you navigate the challenging

  A common thought among trauma survivors is, "why me?" Of course, there's no easy answer to that question. The reality is that while some types of trauma are an inevitable byproduct of being human, others are shaped by the oppressive systems that continue to bind women, minorities, BIPOC, the LGBTQIA+ community, and more. This is only one of the reasons why Life by Design Therapy is so passionate about social justice, but it is an important one. As trauma coach Iris McAlpin writes, "We can put everyone in the world in trauma-informed therapy, but as long as our systems remain oppressive, we will only ever be doing damage control." As trauma therapists ourselves, we have seen firsthand the powerful effects of therapy on survivors. Still, we must acknowledge that therapy is only one part of the solution. The onus is on all of us, as a society, to reject the oppressive systems that further trauma. Without real, systemic change, we cannot interrupt the vicious cycl

  If you are grieving right now, we want you to know that your feelings are valid. Grief looks different for everyone. It can also mean a lot of different things. Grief means mourning a loss -- but that doesn't have to mean the loss of life. For example, it can also be the loss of opportunities or memories, such as events cancelled due to COVID, or the loss of a childhood due to trauma. In his book The Wild Edge of Sorrow, Francis Willer introduces the “Five Gates of Grief.” This book, and Willer's way of looking at grief, offers an invitation to grief that's open to all of us, whether or not we have experienced the loss of a loved one. To learn more about the Five Gates of Grief, check out the latest blog post by our therapist, Ashley Gregory LMFT https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/a-brief-introduction-to-the-five-gates-of-grief/10/2020

  Starting therapy is never easy. The experience of pouring your heart out to a perfect stranger is weird and uncomfortable. Often, it means dredging up old memories and emotions that haven't been touched for years. When you first begin therapy, it's normal to feel worse before you feel better. Experiencing an outpouring of anxiety, sadness, anger, or grief in the time you spend outside your therapist's office does not mean that therapy isn't working. In fact, it is often an important sign of progress. As Amanda E. White, LPC said, "90% of the change that occurs in therapy happens outside the therapy office." Noticing uncomfortable emotions and sensations is an outward sign of this change: Firstly, it means that you are experiencing your emotions, rather than ignoring them (which is often half the battle when it comes to therapy). Secondly, it means that you are getting to the root of your uncomfortable feelings and harmful behaviors. Delving deeply into the e

  Let's face it: we are living in challenging times right now. Stress, worry, and fear are at an all-time high. Uncertainty is the new normal and we are all just trying to get through the day with our sanity intact. During times of stress and constant change, it’s natural to experience an increase in feelings of anxiety, depression, and general overwhelm. While our Berkeley and Richmond offices may be closed, Life by Design Therapy remains committed to helping you and your family get through these trying times. Online therapy can support you in many of the same ways as in-person therapy, with the added benefit of being safer and more convenient during the pandemic. At Life by Design Therapy, we offer: ⭐️ Secure, HIPAA-compliant video or telephone sessions ⭐️ Support at home, or in a private location of your choosing ⭐️ Weekly or biweekly sessions to help you through life's current challenges ⭐️ Easy online booking to make therapy as simple as possible Providing flexible options

  Many of us have internalized unhealthy beliefs about boundary-setting . We're taught that there should be no boundaries between us and the person we love; that boundaries equal keeping secrets. Or, we're taught that saying "no" to someone in need is selfish and cruel. In reality, setting limits and saying "no" protects the most important relationship in your life: the one you have with yourself. But as important as boundary-setting is, we understand why it can be difficult, especially if you have learned to make yourself small to avoid being an inconvenience to others. Here are four simple actions you can take to strengthen your personal boundaries: 1️⃣ Name your boundaries. Without identifying your limits, you cannot uphold them, nor can you expect anyone else to do the same. If speaking your boundaries is hard for you, you might start by writing them down in a private journal or note on your phone. 2️⃣ Practice using I-statements. The difference between

  Relationships are such important parts of our lives that we're often willing to go to great lengths to make them work. But even for the strongest of couples, there are so many challenges that can get in the way of the bond you share with your partner. You may compromise too much, or too little. You may have certain beliefs or habits that are so difficult to break free from and restrict you from having a strong bond with your partner. You may carry old wounds into a new relationship, and have trouble forgiving or loving yourself making it almost impossible to truly love another. You may have struggled to understand your needs and wants, and that indecision is leading to mixed signals for a lover that needs clarity and healthy boundaries. You may suffer with poor communication, sometimes wanting to open up when the other person shuts down. Or get accused of things you do not believe are fair. Perhaps it just leads to stubborn arguments where neither partner is willing to back down?

  Therapy won't work unless you do 💙 Being vulnerable is one of the most courageous, most difficult things we can do as human beings. Yet in therapy, vulnerability is not optional. You have to walk into your therapist's office (or virtual waiting room) willing to open up about who you are. Even if you don't quite know who you are yet, you need to be ready to embrace the process of self-discovery with open arms. Therapists are here to help you , not to judge you. Knowledge is power -- and the more we know about your story, the better we are able to help you move forward. As Nedra Glover Tawwab said, "Risk being honest to be well." www.lifebydesigntherapy.com

  You might have heard that love is a universal language -- but while love has the power to transcend cultural barriers, not all of us feel loved in the same way. That's the theory behind Gary Chapman's book, The Five Love Languages. Since its first publication in 1992, marriage and family therapists have used the concept of "love languages" to explain why even when one partner thinks they're being loving, the other partner might not feel loved. Once you and your partner understand each other's love languages, you can learn to express love in ways that the other will understand as love. What makes you feel most loved? Check out the five love languages below and discover which feels right for you ⬇️ 💬 Words of Affirmation: hearing verbal affirmations like compliments, "I love you," or "I'm proud of you." 🛒 Acts of Service: when your partner takes time out of their day to do a chore or task that will make your life easier. 🎁 Receiving

  With womxn's reproductive freedom once again on the Supreme Court's agenda, let's all take a moment to appreciate the toll that the oppression of womxn takes on female mental health: 💫 Women who are denied reproductive healthcare are more likely to experience anxiety and low self-esteem. 💫 Experiencing unwanted pregnancies is significantly linked with poor mental health later in life. 💫 Proposed laws limiting the reproductive freedom of womxn disproportionately affect poor and BIPOC womxn, who already have limited access to mental healthcare. The right to bodily autonomy is intricately woven into the fabric of our mental health. Having the freedom to choose what happens to our bodies gives us the freedom to take back power from our negative thoughts and emotions. No matter how you are feeling right now, Life by Design Therapy is here to support womxn from all walks of life through all stages of life 💙 (Source: American Psychological Association) www.lifebydesignthera

  Many parents make the mistake of believing that children have nothing to worry about. But while they may have not matured quite yet in responsibilities like going to college, starting a career, buying their first home, or dealing with marriage or divorce - kids still hurt just like adults, even very little ones. So, parents: when does your child need to go to therapy? The answer is that it's different for every child. Children in distress may show many or few signs of their emotions. Like adults, they may withdraw from activities they used to enjoy, become tearful or emotional, or even seem irritable or angry. Or, they may regress to behaviors they previously outgrew, such as bed-wetting or throwing temper tantrums. Sometimes children need therapy for circumstances where healing is involved. For example, in the event of an unexpected loss, a child may have trouble dealing with grief and sorrow for the first time. On other occasions, holistic and somatic psychotherapy is extremely

  Between the COVID-19 infected president, a chaotic election, and continued racial trauma, the news can make the world seem pretty bleak. Consuming too much news can lead to something called "headline anxiety," where we feel nervous and out-of-control in response to global events we learn about through the news. As important as it is to stay informed during this difficult time, it is equally as important to take care of your mental health. Some ways you can limit your news media consumption to protect your energy include: ⭐️ Remember that the news is NOT impartial. News sources cover more negative events than positive ones due to something called "negativity bias," a psychological phenomenon that makes humans more likely to remember negative information than positive information. ⭐️ Limit your exposure to the news. Set a time limit on when and where you will consume the news, and stick to it. That means turning OFF your smartphone notifications, and making sure tha

  Are you ready for the third and final blog in our three-part series on Attachment Theory? The latest post is all about the Secure style of attachment -- the kind of attachments we all strive to develop. These attachments are healthy in that they allow us to feel safe and protected. Those with secure attachment styles can depend on their caregivers (or partners) to return when they leave, both literally and metaphorically speaking. To learn more about secure attachment read the full blog post at Life by Design Therapy . https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/understanding-attachment-styles-part-iii-what-is-secure-attachment/10/2020

  One of the most common questions we get asked is, "how do I know if I need to go to therapy?" Contrary to popular belief, you do not need to be experiencing symptoms of mental illness to seek help from a therapist. People come to therapy to better themselves, whether that means understanding the impacts of your family and cultural history, overcoming specific systems of anxiety, depression, or trauma, or just wanting self-discovery, better understanding, and self-love. Therapy provides you with the opportunity to move forward from the places in your life in which you feel stuck, blocked, or under-supported. At Life by Design Therapy, we believe that anyone can benefit from therapy if they are willing to put in the work to better themselves. Whether you are experiencing specific symptoms, seeking personal growth and understanding, or just need someone to listen, our holistic therapists can work with you to make progress toward your unique goals. Contact us today to learn mo

  We all have little "g" guilt and big "G" guilt present with us throughout life. Everyone's relationship with guilt is different, but one thing unites us all: if we allow it to control us, guilt can wreak havoc on our mental health and self-esteem. How do you de-weaponize guilt so that it no longer holds power over you? Like any other emotion, we can choose to view guilt as a guide rather than a source of distress. Guilt often arises when we take actions that are not aligned with our values. To that end, we can analyze our feelings of guilt to learn more about ourselves, what we need, and what we find important. Our therapist Ashley Gregory LMFT offers the following framework for examining guilt and allowing it to guide our actions: ✨ AWARENESS Notice how and where you sense feelings of guilt in your body. What happens when you focus your attention on these sensations? ✨ STORIES Pay attention to the thoughts that arise when you feel guilty. What are the stories

  Stigma (n.): shaming, blaming, or making fun of someone for a condition they cannot control -- like mental illness. Mental health stigma can look like: ✨ Telling someone with anxiety or depression to "snap out of it" ✨ Making someone with mental illness feel irrational or ungrateful ✨ Creating a sense of secrecy around seeing a therapist or taking medication ✨ Discouraging vulnerability as a show of weakness or as emasculation The stigma surrounding mental health is improving with the number of people who are publicly talking about their experiences, but that does not mean that stigma does not exist. If you have experienced stigma about mental illness, or about showing emotions in general, your experiences are valid, and you are not alone. Everyone has a role to play in dismantling the culture of stigma surrounding mental illness. Whether or not you have a mental illness yourself, you can fight stigma by: ✨ Being open and honest about your own experiences with mental healt

  Healing is hard. Overcoming a lifetime, or perhaps generations, of trauma takes work. The process can be frightening, overwhelming, and frustrating. Sometimes, it can feel like you take two steps forward, only to take three steps back. In those moments, it's important to remember that while healing from trauma is painful, so is continuing to live a life that's ruled by your past experiences. You deserve freedom from trauma. You deserve healing. Life by Design Therapy is here to help you get there 💙 💬  @drheidigreen https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/trauma-therapy

  LGBTQIA rights are a mental health issue 🏳️‍🌈 The Family Acceptance Project found that highly rejected LGBTQIA youth are: 🌈 8x as likely to attempt suicide 🌈 6x as likely to report high levels of depression 🌈 3x as likely to use drugs 🌈 3x as likely to be at risk for HIV & other STIs As holistic therapists, LGBTQIA rights are absolutely our problem -- and we have a responsibility to be part of the solution. Part of Life by Design Therapy's commitment to culturally competent mental healthcare is our commitment to the LGBTQIA community. Our staff is comprised of queer and queer-allied holistic therapists who are informed about and sensitive to the complexities of treating LGBTQIA mental health. To learn more about who we are and how we support California's LGBTQIA community, contact Life by Design Therapy for a free consultation. www.lifebydesigntherapy.com

  At Life by Design Therapy, we believe you have the power to heal yourself 🌿 The body is a self-healing organism. We are all born with the innate ability to tap into our body's inner wisdom. Our body sends us sensory messages that cue us into sources of discomfort. Modern living encourages us to ignore those messages and push through in favor of productivity -- but somatic therapy is all about tuning into what your body is trying to tell you about your current state of being. Somatic therapy isn't about letting a therapist "fix" your body: it's about tapping into that innate power of healing by listening to what your body is trying to tell you. We, as therapists , are here to be your guides. At the end of the day, YOU are the expert on yourself. Your body, and all of its sensations, speak a unique language that only you can fully understand. Once you learn to listen to your body and tap into its innate wisdom, mind-body healing comes naturally 💙 https://www.lif

  It's easy to feel like there's no escape from the bad news, or from the stress of keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe, during the COVID-19 pandemic. The COVID-19 pandemic represents the first significant increase in stress among U.S. adults since the Stress in America survey was first administered in 2007 (APA). While the pandemic is no longer new, that does not make it any easier to cope with its effects. With students returning to school and the holidays fast approaching, this time of year may be especially stressful in light of the current global crisis. Life by Design Therapy wants to support you through the COVID-19 pandemic. In addition to continuing our services via telemedicine, we've also put together a list of helpful (and free!) resources, both in California and beyond, to make it easier to cope with this unprecedented situation. Visit the link to check out our list of free COVID-19 coping resources -- and if you need more support, don't be afraid to