Life By Design Therapy

  Life by Design Therapy wishes all of our clients a happy holiday season! As we approach a long string of winter holidays, COVID-19 is on everyone's minds. While this year's celebrations may need to look different, we believe it is vital to embrace the holidays as best as we can. After all, the holidays offer opportunities for slowing down, connecting with loved ones, and nourishing our minds, bodies, and spirits with food and festivities -- all of which can contribute positively to our mental health. With that in mind, we are sharing our best tips for celebrating the holidays safely despite the coronavirus pandemic on the Life by Design Therapy blog -- get the link in the comments below ❣️ https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/coronavirus-holiday-tips/11/2020

  At Life by Design Therapy, nearly half of our clients identify as Black. As a Black-owned company, it is especially important to us to support our current and future clients who identify as BIPOC -- which is why we have established a fund to make mental healthcare more accessible to marginalized communities in the Bay Area. Our organization has historically supported social justice movements and promoted cultural competence within the field of mental healthcare, yet we recognize that there is still much work to be done. It is time for Life by Design Therapy and our community to step up to help BIPOC access the mental health services they need during these heavy times. We cannot do it without your help. By donating to Life by Design's new fund, you will be sponsoring mental health treatment for BIPOC clients who normally could not afford our services. Special priority will be given to clients who identify as both BIPOC and LGBTQ+, as we understand both of these communities have a

  On Thanksgiving Day , we express our gratitude for our blessings and our loved ones, yet we should also use this holiday to honor the indigenous lives harmed and lost at the hands of our ancestral settlers. Thanksgiving is a holiday dedicated to giving thanks. Given everything our indigenous friends and neighbors have sacrificed for us, it's long past time that we incorporate new traditions into the Thanksgiving canon, ones that celebrate and support the people and tribes who are still suffering due to this country's colonial history. Here are some ways to show your appreciation for indigenous lives this Thanksgiving Day: 🍂 Find out what tribes are indigenous to the areas where you live and work using the Native Land map and acknowledge them at your Thanksgiving feast. For example, our offices in Berkeley and Richmond occupy land belonging to the Karin, Ohlone, Muwekma, and Chochenyo tribes. 🍂 Incorporate indigenous culture into your celebrations. Open your Thanksgiving din

  The pandemic has lasted a lot longer than many of us expected. For parents who are still juggling work-from-home with homeschooling, decision fatigue probably set in a long time ago. If you spend time on Instagram or Pinterest, you'll probably see loads of pictures of "super mommies" planning exciting at-home activities for their kids or designing a dedicated homeschooling area from scratch. But what you won't see are the moments of stress, anxiety, panic, and overwhelm. These emotions affect all parents, even if they aren't posted online. As we face the possibility of another lockdown, you might be worried about what winter has in store for you, the parents, and your kids. The next time you find your thoughts spiraling in this direction, pause, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that it's okay to be less than perfect. During these crazy, challenging times, "good enough" is, well, good enough! That means it's okay if all you can muster up

  There is some powerful science behind stress in the body 🧬 When our bodies are functioning optimally and our internal systems are in balance, the state is known as homeostasis. Anytime homeostasis is thrown off by something we perceive as stressful, our body goes through a series of stages known as the stress response. Many times, stress ends at the first stage of the stress response, where our fight-or-flight response is activated. We experience temporary anxiety and physical symptoms, which are relieved when the source of our stress disappears or becomes managed in a healthy way. However, when stress persists -- for example, if we have a hectic work environment or go through a months-long divorce process -- the body makes changes to adapt to the demands of stress. Over time, these changes can become harmful to our bodies, our health, and our overall sense of well-being. Hans Selye developed the General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS) pattern to describe the three stages involved in our

  Think there's only one type of stress? Think again! When we talk about being stressed out, we're usually talking about the bad kind of stress, a.k.a. distress. But there's also another kind of stress called eustress, which can be positive and even motivational. While distress causes anxiety and prevents us from performing at our best, eustress can actually be exciting and motivating. Examples of events that might cause eustress are being awarded a big project at work, buying your first house, or picking out holiday gifts. These types of events are usually short-term, which is one reason why we might perceive them as easier to cope with than negative stress. On the other hand, distress often relates to long-term events like divorce, a demanding job -- or even a frame of mind. Low self-esteem and other thinking errors might lead to distress. And, because of this flawed system of beliefs, we assume we aren't able to cope with the source of our distress. The good news is

  After weeks, months, or even years, of struggling, you've finally made the decision to pick up the phone and make an appointment with a therapist. You're excited about the possibility of change, but when the administrator at the front desk picks up the phone, you suddenly feel anxious about what to expect. As a result, you hang up without making an appointment. Does this sound like you? It's normal to experience fear, worry, and a host of other emotions when starting therapy for the first time. Humans are naturally skeptical of the unknown, so when we do something new, there is often some anxiety involved -- even when we understand that the new experience is good for us. Common fears people have about starting therapy include: ⭐️ Fear of judgment ⭐️ Fear of being stigmatized ⭐️ Fear of cultural insensitivity ⭐️ Fear of confronting our problems ⭐️ Fear of opening up to a stranger ⭐️ Fear of talking about trauma ⭐️ Fear of change If you are experiencing these emotions when

  Coping may seem like a complicated therapy technique, but what it really comes down to is building better habits. Developing adaptive, or positive, coping strategies means learning to recognize situations that trigger our urge to engage in bad habits and making the conscious decision to choose healthier habits instead. Still, this is easier said than done! These tips can help you replace negative coping strategies with more positive ones to develop healthier habits and improve your mental and physical health : 💙 Choose action over avoidance. There are two primary types of coping: active and avoidant. Avoidant coping involves, well, avoiding the problem, while active coping means facing the problem head-on. When choosing coping strategies, keep in mind that it is usually better to take a problem-solving, or active, approach than an avoidant one. Avoidance may relieve our anxiety in the moment, but it does little to address the root cause of our distress and prevent it from reoccurrin

  As winter approaches, you might find your emotional experience affected by the changing seasons. It's important to understand why the change in seasons has such a dramatic effect on our mental health. The change in seasons brings many changes to our physical and emotional experience. Everything from a lack of light to decreased vitamin D, to the rollback from Daylight Savings time, to holiday celebrations with family and friends can impact our mental health, for better or for worse. For some people, depression rolls around routinely when wintertime arrives. This form of depression is called Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and is incredibly common. It's thought that lessened exposure to light and nature contribute to the experience of SAD. If you have SAD, you might dread winter because you can sense your depression approaching. Coming up with a coping plan can make the transition from fall to winter much more manageable. Some interventions you might want to try for SAD incl

  As Thanksgiving approaches, gratitude is on the mind for many of us. This is the perfect opportunity to remind you that gratitude is a healthy habit that can (and should) be practiced all year long! In a study of 300 college students seeking mental health treatment , UC Berkeley found that four weeks of a written gratitude practice significantly improved participants' self-reported mental health. These benefits became even more apparent after 12 weeks of practice, suggesting that gratitude is a healthy long-term habit that can reduce stress and increase our sense of well-being. Not only did participants report better mental health, but fMRI scans of their brains also showed that when people felt more grateful, they had greater activation of the medial prefrontal cortex -- the part of the brain associated with learning and decision-making. In other words, as people practice gratitude, they become more sensitive to the experience of gratitude over time, resulting in long-term posit

  The holiday season is rapidly approaching -- and with the change in seasons, so is the possibility of another wave of COVID-19 cases striking our nation. When watching the news, it can be easy to get discouraged by the plans we'll have to cancel and the traditions we won't get to experience. But the presence of a global pandemic does not mean the holidays are canceled. This year's celebrations might look different, but we can still enjoy the holidays with family and friends in safe, socially distanced ways. #ICYMI, our latest blog post addresses how to navigate the holidays, logistically and emotionally, during the COVID-19 pandemic. https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/embrace-the-holidays-during-the-pandemic

  This year, Thanksgiving dinner might look different, but most of us can still rest assured that we will be able to spend the holiday celebrating with our loved ones. However, not everything about the holidays is holly and jolly. The season often brings unique challenges that can negatively impact our mental health. According to the Anxiety and Depression A ssociation of America (ADAA), nearly 3/4 of people report feeling more depressed or anxious around the holidays. Even in people without a diagnosed mental health condition, this so-called "Holiday Stress Disorder" is common around the Thanksgiving and winter holidays. For some people, this might be the first holiday spent without a lost loved one, leading to a resurfacing of grief. For others, the holidays might mean facing intrusive questions from pushy relatives about milestones like getting married and having kids. And for others still, reuniting with family could spark conflict with dysfunctional relatives. Life by De

  A healthy, normal amount of anxiety serves an important purpose: it acts as an alarm signal for impending threats. For example, when there is an emergency, our body kicks into overdrive, giving us the energy and focus to help us deal with it. When anxiety rises to unhealthy levels, your brain learns to see threats everywhere. It sounds the alarm bells, even when there's nothing to fear. In turn, you experience physical symptoms of the fight-or-flight response, such as heart palpitations, sweating, or shaking. In order to overcome our body's anxiety response, we have to retrain our brains to view the world around us as if it is no longer a threat. One important way to do this is by identifying the distortions, or inaccuracies, in your thoughts. Some thought distortions that are common among people with anxiety include: ✨ Catastrophizing (blowing things out of proportion -- ex: "My heart is beating really fast. I must be dying.") ✨ Personalizing (blaming ourselves for

  Many of us hold the people we love at arm's length when we are feeling stressed, overwhelmed, sad, or angry. If you are the loved one getting pushed away, it's important to remember that for most of us, keeping others at a distance is not a conscious decision. Often, people who push their loved ones away have been hurt before and are afraid of being hurt again. They may struggle with trusting others, especially if they have experienced interpersonal trauma. Pushing others away can also be a matter of low self-confidence. If we struggle to believe that others truly love us and want to help, we may find it challenging to open up. Especially if we have been in a relationship that made us feel like our emotional experience did not matter, we might believe that by being honest about our feelings, we are placing a heavy burden on our loved ones. While getting pushed away feels hurtful, it can be a sign of deep love and commitment, indicating that your partner cares enough about you

  No matter what outcome you were hoping for on Election Day, we can all agree that this year's election has been anxiety-inducing and traumatic in many ways. If you find yourself experiencing unpleasant emotions or physical sensations as a result of political stress, try these self-care tips for recovering from the polarized 2020 election: 💙 Turn off the news. Staying informed is important, but so is your mental health. Limit the amount of time you spend "doomscrolling" through news apps and social media, and distance yourself from any news sources that make you feel worse. 💙 Be gentle with yourself. After the election, you may find yourself feeling drained or exhausted. As a result, you may not be as productive as you usually would be at work, at school, or at home. Extend yourself compassion and don't pressure yourself to do too much before you're ready. Take time off to recover if needed. 💙 Do something constructive. Our coping skills are crucial to getting

  WAYS TO EMBRACE THE HOLIDAYS DURING THE PANDEMIC by Melody Wright, LMFT The holiday season is rapidly approaching -- and with the change in seasons, so is the possibility of another wave of COVID-19 cases striking our nation.  When watching the news, it can be easy to get discouraged by the plans we'll have to cancel and the traditions we won't get to experience. But the presence of a global pandemic does not mean the holidays are cancelled. This year's celebrations might look different, but we can still enjoy the holidays with family and friends in safe, socially distanced ways. Here's how to navigate the holidays, logistically and emotionally, during the COVID-19 pandemic. COPING WITH CHANGE Whatever your usual holiday traditions, there is a very real chance that your plans may need to change in light of the COVID-19 pandemic. These changes can be challenging in terms of planning, but also to cope with emotionally.  Some changes might create conflict between you and

  Suffering is not a competition 💙 You do not need to have it worse than the person next to you in order to deserve empathy from others. You do not need to wait until you are at your breaking point to seek help. You deserve love, support, and help, simply by virtue of being human. If you're ready to grow through and feel supported by holistic therapy , contact Life by Design Therapy to learn more about how our clinicians can uplift you, no matter your degree of suffering. 💬 Quote by  @_lisaolivera https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/holistic-therapy

  Some statements, no matter how well-meaning, will never be helpful to someone who is struggling with their mental health . Here's why... 💙 When you say "It's all in your head..." YOU HEAR: "You don't need to worry about it because it's not real!" BUT THEY HEAR: "Your worries aren't valid, no matter how real they feel." 💙 When you say "It could be worse..." YOU HEAR: "Be grateful for what you do have." BUT THEY HEAR: "You don't have a right to your negative feelings." 💙 When you say "Have you tried X?" YOU HEAR: "I'm making a helpful suggestion for my loved one." BUT THEY HEAR: "Ugh, another unsolicited recommendation that doesn't work." 💙 When you say "Just stay positive!" YOU HEAR: "I just want you to be happy." BUT THEY HEAR: "I'm burdening my loved one with my negative feelings." What other unhelpful statements did we miss?

  When we think of trauma, most of us think of something truly horrific. Usually, it's an accident, disaster, or act of violence that's so terrible, most of us can't imagine living through it. In reality, there is not a list of events that makes up the definition of trauma. Any experience can be considered traumatic -- it's the body's response to that event that turns it from an adverse experience into trauma. Normal reactions to trauma include anxiety, hypervigilance, insomnia, nightmares, and panic attacks, among a whole host of other symptoms. When these experiences persist long after the triggering event, they become post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Whether you are navigating the immediate aftermath of trauma or can't seem to shake something that happened to you years ago, Life by Design Therapy can help. One of our specialties is providing trauma therapy to the Berkeley and Richmond communities. Contact us today to learn more about trauma and whether

  Do you have a plan to get to the polls? 🗳 Your vote counts when it comes to mental health. The 2020 election is asking us to make important decisions on a number of issues affecting mental health, including: ⭐️ Protections for mental healthcare under the Affordable Care Act ⭐️ Access to affordable housing for people with mental illness ⭐️ Safe gun laws that reduce access to firearms, a leading cause of suicide ⭐️ Justice for racial minorities and the LGBTQ+ population To learn more about how your vote impacts mental health & what you need to do to make sure your vote counts, visit  vote4mentalhealth.org . https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/