Life By Design Therapy

  This is something I see come up again and again in my work with couples. One partner feels stuck, unmotivated, disengaged, or emotionally checked out. The other partner feels frustrated, overwhelmed, and increasingly alone in carrying the emotional weight of the relationship. Whether one partner isn’t working or they’re just not showing up emotionally, it can feel confusing and painful, especially when they’re physically there but emotionally unreachable. Read More https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/how-to-not-lose-yourself-when-supporting-an-unmotivated-partner

  I used to think staying informed meant constantly keeping up with the news, but I’ve learned that there’s a difference between awareness and overload. The more we expose ourselves to a nonstop flow of upsetting headlines, the harder it becomes for our nervous system to regulate, leading to heightened anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and even a sense of hopelessness. Setting boundaries with news and social media isn’t about ignoring reality; it’s about protecting your mental and emotional well-being so you can stay engaged without burning out. Here are some practical ways to set these boundaries… 🔹 Check the news at set times instead of throughout the day – Instead of letting news updates flood your entire day, try scheduling specific times to check reliable sources. For example, you might choose to check in once in the morning and once in the evening, rather than refreshing your feed constantly. 🔹 Unfollow accounts that spike panic rather than provide thoughtful information – ...

  If you don’t gently close your workday, it keeps following you into your nights and your body. You leave work, but your nervous system stays braced and alert. Whether you are a student, a parent, or a high achiever, that internal "on" switch can feel impossible to flip. That’s why rest feels so hard. Your body never fully rests when it’s still waiting for the next task. But rest is something you practice. It’s not for "someday" or just for vacation. It’s a skill for every single evening. Your body learns safety through repetition. At Life By Design Therapy ™, our therapists support you in finding your way back to a state of softening. We often see how small, intentional shifts can retrain a nervous system that has forgotten how to be still. Try these four gentle ways to unwind tonight: Choose a daily stop-time. Change clothes right away. Take 10 slow breaths. No screens in the last 30 minutes. Your body can begin to soften. Remember: How you end your day teaches y...

  When the weight of the world feels overwhelming, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of anxiety and helplessness. But taking a moment to reflect can help you process what’s weighing on you and find small, meaningful ways to take action. Journaling can be a powerful tool for clarity, self-awareness, and grounding. Use this prompt to explore what’s on your mind and how you can channel your energy in a way that feels aligned with your values. Save this for later or share your thoughts in the comments. 💙 https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/

  When you’re used to showing up, pushing through, or holding things together, rest often becomes conditional… Something we "earn" only after a period of high output. At Life By Design Therapy™, we help you understand that when rest is contingent on a finished to-do list, the body remains in a state of hyper-vigilance. Our therapists support high-achievers in breaking the cycle of "conditional rest". Here are some ways to redefine professional recovery: 🌱 Rest Isn’t a Reward: Your need to rest isn’t tied to what you accomplish. Feeling tired, drained, or overstimulated is just human, not a sign you’ve “failed.” 🌱 Pause to Reset: Slowing down is a skill, not a weakness. Shifting from constant doing to simply being gives your nervous system a chance to breathe and recharge. 🌱 Rest Before You Finish: You don’t have to wait until everything is “done” to take a break. Pausing mid-task tells your body it’s safe to relax, even if the to-do list isn’t empty. If your bra...

  Have you ever felt like you’re going through the motions, but the real "you" is miles away? Disconnection has a way of looking remarkably productive. You can show up for every meeting, manage the kids’ schedules, and hit every deadline… All while feeling quietly hollow inside. It’s easy to mistake this numbness for strength or "just coping." But often, checking out is the only way your nervous system knows how to handle the overwhelm. It’s not a flaw. It’s a shield. At Life By Design Therapy ™, we often see that the way back to yourself isn’t about pushing harder or "fixing" your mindset. It is about safety. Our therapists support you in learning how to drop the shield safely. We help you find the small, subtle cues like warmth, rhythm, or nature that remind your body it’s okay to stop running and start feeling again. You don't have to carry the weight of "doing fine" all by yourself. If you are in California, let’s talk about what support ...

  I’ve noticed that when I’m having trouble focusing, it’s rarely just about distractions. It’s often a sign that my nervous system is overstimulated, overwhelmed, or simply needs a moment of care. In my work (and in my own life), I’ve found that focus isn’t just a mental skill…it’s a whole-body experience . When we feel safe, regulated, and grounded, focus becomes much more accessible. If you’ve been struggling to stay present or productive lately, these 6 nervous-system-based tools can help bring you back into balance: Use your senses to support focus – Gentle sensory input like warm tea, textured objects, or calming music can help anchor you in the moment. Let your body give you feedback – Tune into sensations like tight shoulders or a racing heart. These cues tell you what your body needs like rest, movement, or just a pause. Use grounding practices to become present – Try orienting to your environment, deep breathing, or pressing your feet into the floor. These small practi...

  Finding the line between professional responsibility and personal peace can be one of the greatest challenges in our modern "always-on" culture. How do you signal to your brain that the workday is officially over? Tips for your transition tonight: 📌 Create a Physical Signal: Change your clothes, take a walk, or put your phone in a dedicated drawer. 📌 Regulate with Rhythm: Use music to help your body physically decompress from the day’s pace. 📌 Release the Guilt: Practice viewing "unproductive" time as a vital investment in your mental health. At Life By Design Therapy ™ , we believe that true restoration isn't just about closing your laptop; it’s about intentionally shifting your nervous system from a state of "doing" to a state of "being." When we carry the mental load of the office into our evenings, our bodies remain in a high-alert state, leading to burnout and emotional exhaustion. Our therapists support clients in developing person...

  Overwhelm isn’t just a sign that you have too much to do. It’s a signal from your nervous system that it’s carrying more than it can safely hold. When your body is stuck in survival mode, it doesn’t need more pressure, it needs regulation. Here are 6 somatic hacks I use (and share with clients) to help shift out of overwhelm and back into a sense of steadiness: 🌿 Start with grounding, not scrolling – Begin your day with breath, touch, or movement before diving into stimulation. 🌿 Anchor your day with regulation breaks – Tiny pauses between tasks help your system reset before it crashes. 🌿 Move your body in gentle, consistent ways – Think swaying, stretching, or slow walks. Not intensity, but connection. 🌿 Prioritize safety cues in your environment – Soothing light, soft textures, grounding scents…all of it matters. 🌿 Include transitions for emotional decompression – Create space between roles. Let your body exhale before shifting gears. 🌿 End the day with self-soothin...

  How to Manage Stress and Prevent Burnout in the Workplace It started on a Wednesday. I was sitting at my desk, halfway through a meeting, when I realized I hadn’t stopped all morning. My inbox was overflowing, my shoulders ached, and my brain was locked on one thought: “Just get through the day.” Sound familiar? Workplace stress has become so normalized that many of us don’t notice how much it’s draining our energy and dysregulating our nervous system, until we’re completely depleted. While many of us desire to be okay and live with a sense of purpose and peace, it’s hard to regulate and find those moments in the midst of hustle culture.  If this is resonating with you, I want to remind you that you cannot continue to push through and find that sense of peace. Regulating comes from slowing down, creating space for rest, and allowing your body to return to balance. The good news? You can learn to manage stress and prevent burnout from work.  If you’ve been struggling to...

  How  to  Use  Affirmations  to  Build  Self-Worth I often see people come into sessions feeling defeated by their own inner dialogue. They’ve tried to shift it by trying positive affirmations, but the words don’t seem to land. If you’ve ever said an affirmation like, “I am enough,” only to feel discomfort, disbelief, or even shame in response, there are so many people who feel the same way. However, I want you to know that you’re not doing it wrong. The response you feel can be deeply informative. It tells you something about your nervous system and how it’s been shaped by past experiences. “Your self-worth isn’t just a mindset. It’s a lived experience in the body” When your nervous system has learned to be hypervigilant, shut down, or stuck in survival mode, it’s not concerned with worthiness. It’s focused on protection. This means that trying to think your way into self-worth with affirmations can feel jarring, even threatening, if your body doesn...

  There’s something about the quiet after the holidays that can feel both peaceful and heavy. The lights come down, the house feels still, and all that energy that carried you through December starts to fade. You might notice a dip in motivation or find yourself feeling flat, restless, or even a little lost. And you might have caught yourself wondering, Why do I feel this way after such a joyful time? Many people experience what’s often called the post-holiday slump, which is an emotional… Read More https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/the-post-holiday-slump-why-you-feel-off-after-the-holidays-and-how-to-recover

  There’s a moment many people don’t talk about enough, in my opinion. The moment when nothing is technically wrong, but your body won’t settle. Work is over, yet your chest feels tight. You finally sit down, and your mind starts racing. You’re exhausted, but rest feels out of reach. If this sounds familiar, it doesn’t mean you’re bad at managing stress. It usually means your nervous system has been carrying more than it knows how to put down, and it’s asking for support. Not in the form of advice. Not in the form of “just relax.” Read More https://www.lifebydesigntherapy.com/blog/grounding-techniques-to-calm-your-nervous-system

  I used to think disconnecting after work meant closing my laptop. Logging off. Turning notifications to silent. And jumping into the next duty of parenthood and partnership.  But…my body didn’t get the memo. I’d be physically home, but mentally replaying emails. Emotionally bracing for tomorrow.  Sometimes I’d find myself tense for no obvious reason and snapping at the people I loved most. If you’re anything like me, you may relate to the feeling that your workday has ended, but your nervous system is still bracing like it hasn’t. And that’s a very different problem. If this sounds familiar, I understand, and here are a few tools that can support your nervous system out of work mode.   Why You Still Feel Stressed After Work Ends From a somatic, and body-based perspective, it’s not that you don’t know how to relax. Your nervous system simply hasn’t shifted out of work mode yet. Throughout the day, your body is responding to things like: The steady stream of ema...